Tag Archives: positive self talk

Move Over Homer Simpson or Finding Happiness Through A Fighting Spirit

Motivational videos, speakers, books, music……it’s all out there! But that’s not where it needs to be, is it?

It needs to be right here, with you now, pushing you along to achieve whatever it is that you’ve set your mind to achieving. Sometimes the afore-mentioned will benefit you, sometimes it’s just not enough.

Sometimes our cynical self who seems to be able to dominate our thinking at will just shuts down our potential.

This sort of thinking, for instance, begins to prevail – “It’s no good, I’ll never change. I’ve tried before and didn’t get anywhere.”  Then we back up those thoughts with ‘evidence’ and memories of past failed attempts.

We convince ourselves. And then it seems like reality and every action (or inaction) that occurs after that is justified. We kind of end up HOMER SIMPSONIZING  ourselves.

But what if we saw those negative thoughts as ‘clever confidence tricksters’ like these guys…..

Bad guys. Con men. Sent to rob you of your goals and ambitions. 

How do you react to them now? Are you going to allow them to ride rough shod over you? Or are you going to fight back?

Okay, so this is all very interesting I hear you say, but how is this little analogy going to help me?  Well, it can bring you a new awareness, for one thing. An awareness that negative thoughts and feelings are just  ‘characters’, part-time ‘players’ in our life script, never to be taken seriously and never to feel threatened by.

Practicing this allows their intensity to fade and lessens their power over you. It changes the mental picture.

If it doesn’t have that effect on you, then maybe just doing this to them will….

The Final Thing

One thing for sure, doing NOTHING won’t change a thing.

It will keep you imprisoned (emotionally) and from that place positive change is very difficult to achieve.

So break down the walls, kick ass and fight back and don’t let that  happy, enthusiastic you wait in the wings any longer!!

He’s getting lonely out there……..


So what do you think? Have you ever Homer Simpsonized yourself? Love to have you share your thoughts. 🙂 🙂

P.S. If you liked this post, please tweet it!

The Value of Sickness and Health – Exploring Two Aspects Of Being Human

Health and Wellbeing When They’re Not At Home

Imagine always being in full, blooming, radiant good health, all of the time. Never an ache or a pain, no colds, viruses, cuts, scratches, bruises or discomfort. Ever.

Finished imagining? Good, ‘cos that is the closest any of us are  gonna get to it.  The reality is that we’re all human and along with that particular condition, comes many others. No matter how fit you are, no matter how nutritious your diet or how healthy your habits – chances are every now and again, through no fault of your own, you will suffer from something. If it is still tempting to make the easy conclusion (as I myself might) that if you eat sensibly, exercise often and basically keep your bad habits to a minimum then all will be fine, then you need a reality check (note to self).

The Symptoms

So why am I having this sudden reflection? You guessed it – I’m sick. I have been all week (hence the fewer posts this week). Yes even though my old friends, Enthusiasm and Passion have still been sharing my personal space, it appears that when a couple of other dodgy characters called Headache and Nausea drop by, these old friends go a little quiet.  They went completely silent when Dizziness came in the door and have decided they are happy to lay quietly on the couch until these three new intruders decide they’re ready to leave. That time is almost here. Thankfully.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not about to manufacture my sickness into a larger than it needs to be problem. I am well aware there are multitudes of people worse off than me. Some I even wrote about recently, here.

The Silver Lining

So yes I am avoiding the pity party thing altogether. I’ll live. In fact (and I’m not sure if this fact makes me slightly pathological or not) but as the week has gone on, each day with my sickness still apparent, I have decided that I might as well try to enjoy it. As the playwright George Bernard Shaw has written, ”I enjoy convalescence. It is the part that makes the illness worth while.”

Too ill to do much (basically for fear of passing out) I have been laying on the couch and reading. And reading. And reading. And reading. I am now half way through a book that I had put aside to read ‘ when I had the time ‘. And I gotta say, I’ve enjoyed myself.

Maybe the Panadol helped somewhat, but the simple ‘time out’, with no distractions, just the simple indulgence of some reflective reading has actually been enjoyable and in many ways, productive.

Maybe this is what is meant by the Latin proverb which states ”in time of sickness, the soul collects itself anew”.

Enjoying Health All Of It

My final conclusion about all this is that perhaps we do need sickness as well as good health in our lives. If only for the reason that it makes us better understand and appreciate the importance of good health, instead of taking it for granted.

And perhaps also, so we do have some time ‘to collect ourselves anew’.


What do you think about these two sides of the human condition – are our worthwhile days only those when health and well-being shine like beacons or do you think there is some value that we are meant to derive from experiencing suffering and sickness too? 

Perhaps you may also have a‘sick day’ story to share? Are you are the veritable bear with a sore head when you’re sick or do you not  mind a day or two out of the rat race? Love to read your comments.

I love comments. Adore them, in fact and have met some very insightful and nice people via ‘the comment box’, so please feel free to leave one. I reply to everyone.

Also, if you enjoyed this (or any other) post here, please also share it with your friends on Facebook or Twitter, so that others too can join the conversation. Thanks in advance.


Create Your Own Fun Run: A No Fan Fare Way To Increase Your Fitness Levels



The Challenge of A Fun Run

People who run Fun Runs are super fit, right? They have reached a certain level of endurance fitness that many people wish they could also achieve. ‘I’d love to be able to do that,’ many say upon hearing of a friend or colleague who has run a 5 km event on the weekend.

I used to say that too! A couple of years ago it was one of my fitness goals – to run a 5km event. I was training regularly as I still do now – both cardio and strength workouts – and a 5 km Fun Run was a definitely on my ‘to do’ list. However, it just so happens that two of the biggest Fun Run Events here in my city are held on Mother’s and then Father’s Day – two pretty important and significant days in our family.

Despite my desire and intent, I have not run in these events (as yet). When the time came, my choice was to spend a day with my family and some quality time away from their respective busy schedules. I was always happy with the choice I made on those days.

The Me Five K Event

The funny thing is I knew I could do it. My training had been consistent and I regular jogged several kilometres in good time. So, I thought to myself, how ’bout seeing if I could just run My Own Five K Event. I could do it any day I liked. No entry forms to fill in. No special time to get to the starting line. No special arrangements to make for child care. No people to disappoint on Father’s Day.

So I did.

Slowly and methodically I increased the distance I did on the treadmill. Sometimes I would increase the incline, sometimes the distance, sometimes the pace……making each workout slightly more difficult than the last. I also bought myself a pair of new comfortable runners like Lindsey.

Me and The Treadmill

Then came race day – an arbitrary day I had picked on the calendar. I told no-one about this small marathon I was to undertake, but kept the routine at home simple and the same.

It was just me and the road, as they say.  Or in my case, me and the treadmill.

Just Doing It

As race day came closer I was just as excited as anyone else planning a 5 km event. No big fan fare, no fellow competitors to meet and greet, but the excitement level was the same.

And the outcome? I did my first every 7 kms (without stopping) on  the treadmill. Not five as I had originally intended but seven. I couldn’t believe it.

A Runner’s High

After that day, I think I truly understood the term ‘Runners High’ – the feeling being a result of increased endorphins produced by the exercise itself and also my own psychological satisfaction from having completed (and exceeded) the distance of  Fun Run Event.

So how about you? Could you plan for, train for and complete your own Fun Run Event?

Even maybe just one kilometre, say in one month from now?

Start following a good plan like my fellow healthy living blogger Jess is and you can get there. Even if it’s one k at a time!

  • Incidently, I have nothing against organised Fun Run Events. At all. I think they are great. But competing in an event is not the only way to increase your fitness levels. You can also do it your own way, in your own time and produce the same desirable outcome (an increase in fitness levels) .

Ciao friends,


Body Image Solutions Or How To Embrace True Health and Wellbeing

Accepting Ourselves and An Apology

First up, on Friday I posted what was supposed to be a bit of fun. And some of it was. Unfortunately though technology let me down. The animations didn’t work like they were supposed to. And the result? A few of the animations/pictures I posted were er….not so funny.  Sorry about that. Everything worked fine here on the site, but apparently that perfection did not transpose to the email copies sent out  to you wonderful people who subscribe. 

Needless to say, I won’t be using them again.

My apologies again to those whose copies were affected and now, on with the show…..

How Do You Feel About Your Body?

Body Image is something we are all hear about in the media, is it not?  And because of this image awareness, we are all well aware (or at least I hope we are) that the images portrayed in women’s magazines etc…are often not real (but are air brushed and technologically altered) and in many cases, not healthy.

Yet do our brains intelligently and reliably inform us of this truth? Or we still challenged by them? Maybe even threatened and discomforted by them?

From my own observations and the feedback I get, we are.

Time To Heal

So today I’d like to do what I can to help heal those feelings and encourage you to throw out some of those perjorative body labels you may have been subconsciously accepting.

Yep, throw them out – toss them out the window, dump them in the rubbish, flush them down the loo or whatever it takes to be rid of them ! You don’t need them !

The Reality

Your body is a beautiful and amazing living breathing entity.  Right now, without any conscious effort on your part, your heart goes on pumping your blood, your food goes on being digested, your hair grows and your skin repairs and renews all it’s little cuts and grazes. You are, in fact, a perfect and wonderful creation

Why not appreciate your body’s unique characteristics? Be, in awe, of it. Celebrate it. Love it.

The Truth

The comparisons we humans can make between one body and another is endless if we let it be. One person will be taller/shorter than yourself. Another more hairy. Thinner. Fatter. Older. Younger. Another has red hair/you have blond hair.

And that’s all fine. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same.

So today, right now, I’d like to encourage you to look beyond such comparisons and decide to love and appreciate ourselves (just a little bit more than usual).

Let’s decide today to celebrate our own uniqueness and individuality and love ourselves instead of constantly making reference to all that we perceive to be lacking.

Now to be clear, I’m not saying to give up on the weight loss journey. At all. Not even close. What I am saying is maybe it’s time to be  gentle with yourself. Take it easy. Breathe. Accept. And know that no matter what stage of the weight loss journey you are on; just beginning, haven’t started, half way there, you are still a beautiful human being.

A True Definition of Good Health

Good health is about more than having a great looking body. It is about nuturing and caring for your whole self – body, mind and spirit. It is about incorporating balance, moderation, peace of mind and awareness into your life. This means giving up the perjorative labels and negative talk!

Are you ready to give yourself a litte more self love today?

Avoiding The Weight Loss Blowout: How To Control Your Diet Choices and Stay Sane!

The Weight Loss Blowout

Okay so we’ve sworn off pizza for life, we don’t eat this and we don’t eat that….because we are trying to lose weight. Everybody knows that – our friends, our spouse, our workmates and so everybody should be doing their best to support us with our new resolution to eat healthy. Only they don’t.

Contrary to our own expectations, other people don’t always make things easy for us. In addition, certain events also come along to conspire against us.  The get together, the dinner party, the going away for someone at work party…..the list goes on. And for the person that is trying to follow a new and sensible eating plan, these events can sometimes be quite challenging. Often the very foods we have been succesfully avoiding for weeks or months suddenly make a BIG comeback  poking their sticky, gooey, sweet and calorific face in ours, tempting and begging us to eat them.

Impulsive Eating

Once upon a time, I would have had a lot of trouble at such food laden events. I would have eaten way too much and then gone home feeling pretty annoyed and regretful. These days though I like to employ a few strategies to help me through these unavoidable occasions. 

A Few Strategies

There is no doubt that when you’re in your own home or your own enviroment, self control is well, easier to control.   At home, once you’ve made up your mind to, you can clean out the pantry and get rid of the danger foods (you know the ones) that tempt you the most. This idea works because basically you can’t eat what isn’t there. 

Not so however, when you venture out.  This is when a little forward planning and mental preparation can make all the difference. 

First, take time to visualise the event you will be attending. Picture the people, the meal and see yourself standing or sitting there amidst it all.  See the tempting food.   Then, take time to decide there and then what (and how much) you will eat. Picture it on your plate. Smaller portions, healthy choices. Nothing more.

If a picture of a huge dessert or extra serves of a favourite food come into play while your doing this little mental exercise, try the following. Whilst still visualising the food, make a mental image of yourself shaking your head and saying no thanks. Yes, it’s simple. But it’s powerful and it works.

Repeat the visulisation as many times as you feel the need and then, when the event happens, your subconscious will already be programmed for better choices.

What Else?

Another trick is to pack your own healthy snacks and take them with you to the party or get together. If it is not a sit down meal with a set menu, but rather a table full of random food items, then having a healthy and prepared snack as a substitute, can be a life saver.

Lastly, never leave the house ravevously hungry!!  Always ensure you have had a filling (but calorie controlled) snack before going out.  Oh and don’t forget your water habit which I talked about a few posts ago. If you missed it and would like to have a read then, check it out here https://monsbiz.wordpress.com/2010/05/25/can-you-burn-fat-with-food/ 

The Last Bit

So dear friends….we all need to think ahead with our food choices when we are on a weight loss journey, especially when the amount and type of food presented is (seemingly) out of our control.  Don’t let the circumstance dictate your behaviour, but rather decide on your behaviour before the circumstance arrives.  It is possible to achieve. Why not try it next time such a time arrives for you? You may actually surprise yourself with just how well you can control your choices.

Hope these ideas are of help to you.  They certainly have worked for me! 

I would love to hear about any issues you may have encountered in trying to control your food choices. Do you find other people supportive or do you sometimes feel that others may be trying to sabotage your efforts? You’re not alone on your journey, you know.  Many of us have been through the same things, so feel free to talk or if you’re not comfortable with that, why not just say hi! 

Thanks for reading and thanks for being part of the Reframe Weightloss team.

Ciao everyone…..

Mon ( )

A Weight Loss Blogger’s Questions Answered or Why Blogging is Good For Your Health

Howdy to all of you who’ve dropped by today. Nice to have you here. I’m short on time today so today’s post may not be full of weight loss or fitness education, which is often the type of post I write. Those can be be a little one dimensional anyway, I think and since none of our lives are one dimensional it may be a nice aside today to just sit here and chat to you.   

Blogs are supposed to be about connection anyway, I believe.  So here goes – some insights into my inner musings:

One thing I have found myself reflecting on lately is my motivation for starting this blog in the first place. As a friend at the gym said to me the other day, when I shared with him that I had become a blogger, “Why?”

By my friend’s own admission, computers are not his thing and he prefers being in the gym to being in cyberspace. Each to his own, I know, but I don’t think he knows what he’s missing!

A Question I had To Answer

I can’t remember exactly the answer I gave him at the time, but he had me thinking about the answer for some time afterward.  Iknow I had considered blogging a long time ago, but never started.  So why now?  Yes, there is the book I keep yabbering on about (if you haven’t heard about it, you must be new!) however, I have come to see this blog also as a place where I can explore many new things, just through the process of writing itself. 

Write Yourself Healthy

I enjoy writing  probably just as much as I do talking  (just ask my friends). However I have found that regular writing  has many other side benefits I hadn’t formerly considered. It helps me clarify my thoughts, it makes me feel good (by expressing rather than internalising emotions), I find it mentally stimulating and I’ve been told, with enough practice, I can get better at it!

So I guess I am doing it to discipline myself and to make a committment to something which I enjoy and  hope to improve at.  It has absolutlely nothing to do with the fact that (despite what he might tell you himself ) my 12 year old son is learning computer and writing skills more rapidly than I can keep up with. Nope, nothing to do with that at all.  Okay, maybe a little. 

See, what did I say about writing helping to clarify your thoughts?  I have just realised that part of my own motivation to write is to keep up with my primary age child. Is that a little pathetic?  Oh well, it’s true. Apparently.

Well before I divulge too much more of my own chaotic mind’s ramblings, I think I’ll close.  I may implode if I find out too much more about myself.

Thanks for helping me to work all that out. I now feel freshly recommitted to the blogosphere and am looking forward to learning more. If any of you would like to share your own blogging experiences (or any subconscious parent/child competitive streak you have ) I would love to hear. It would make me feel better.

Okay folks, bye for now. I’m off to bury myself in The Influence of Social Media ( a new book I’m reading, which is way over the top of any kids head) ….OMG, how pathetic!

Ciao friends. See you back here next time,


Encouraging Your Weight Loss Potential and Voices From Your Past

Letters of Encouragement from The Perfect Parent

Sometimes, during those dreamy ‘what if’ moments that seem to affect us all, I find myself reflecting  upon what decisions I may have made earlier in life had I been given a higher degree of encouragement from own parents and teachers. Would I ever had struggled with weight loss?  Would I have made a different career choice? Would I have had greater feelings of self-esteem and worth as I grew up? I know I’m not alone here, having had more than a few conversations with friends who have also pondered upon their past in a similar way.

Unlike some though, I certainly do not hold any grudges nor do I get lost in any useless wistful thinking. I have never felt anything other than a huge amount of affection, love and gratitude toward my wonderful parents. They did the best they could as parents. As I now know, it’s not an easy role to fulfill.

Tell Me Again, Norman Vincent Peale

So as much as I wanted it, verbal encouragement just wasn’t forth coming. In fact, back then (a few decades ago) it wasn’t forth coming for anybody much, at least not in the mainstream culture of suburbia in which I grew up.  As it happened however,  this seeming indifference toward my exuberant youthful dreams and ambitions eventually led me to absorb myself in  many enriching and enlightening books. As a teenager and young adult, I added another dimension to my life as I worked my way through them, giving myself all the encouragement and motivation I so desired. One of the first ‘personal development’ books I ever read was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, followed by How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.  I was about 17 at the time and these books profoundly effected my choices and behaviours from that time on.

Back to My Parents

What my parents did verbalize and worry about a lot however was security and from that perspective they gave me their best advice, sharing all the stuff that other people had told them was important. 

Maybe they should have snuck into my bedroom and read my books, because basically the advice I received from them went something like:-

1.Get a job, a really, really ‘secure’ one.

2.Get married (no specifics given here, although my mother leaned toward the ‘rich and professional type’).

3.Have kids.

4.Be a ‘good girl’.

Yes, Ma’am.

Rules for Living, Expanded

I know my parents meant well and that ‘ticking all the boxes’ was very important to people of their generation. However if they were still alive today and perhaps if they had been given some encouragement along their way, I’d like to think they might now send me an amended version of The Rules for Living. I imagine this update to begin with the words  Dear Daughter,  I forgot  to mention a few things…..

1. Follow your passions.

2. Do what excites and inspires you.

3. Live everyday with enthusiasm and optimism (or live everyday as if it were your last).

4. Never give up.

5. Always help and encourage others to follow their dreams.

Although these rules weren’t in the curriculum at school nor in the rules of life my parents passed on, they are the one’s I’ll pass onto my own kids, when they’re ready to learn them. 

Giving and Receiving Encouragement

So what then of those absent ‘letters of encouragement’ my inner teenager sometimes yearns for?  Well, I don’t really need them now. I know I was loved and if my parents had equated loving me with encouraging me, they would have. It just wasn’t a priority for them. I have also learnt that giving encouragement to others can be just as rewarding as receiving it yourself. 

And so today I would like to send YOU a letter of encouragement. I know, I’m not your mother, but here it goes anyhow, a little letter from me to you to keep that fire burning within or perhaps to rekindle the embers of one that may be slowly going out.

Your Letter

Dear You,

I’ve noticed how hard you’ve been working lately and how tired you get sometimes.  I also know how much you want some things in your life to change. And they will. It just takes time, a little persistence and self belief, but I know you possess those things. I know you can do it.

I also know that at times it seems everything around you is saying ‘give up’ or ‘you can’t do it’, but don’t listen to those messages. Listen to me, the voice of encouragement and love. It knows better than those naysayers. It knows that you possess an inner strength greater than you sometimes realise.

I also know you are a good person. In fact, I believe, you are a great person, and that so far in life, you have only skimmed the surface of what is possible for you.

So please don’t let yourself be discouraged. Stick with ‘it’. Whether ‘it’ is weight loss or some other type of personal change you now desire, it is all possible for you.

Your worth it and I’m proud of you.


Till next time friends,



P.S. This post was written in loving and respectful memory of  Margaret and Richard, my parents.

The Power of Motivational Books – Unwrapping Our Weight Loss Potential and More

Three Cheers For Cyberspace

Hi there! So nice to be back in touch with you here in the blogosphere after my brief vacation from blogging. Don’t get me wrong, I do love the real world too (most of the time!), but cyberspace is also a great ‘place’ to spend some time, too.  Isn’t it? I think so. What about you?

Anyhoozie, I hope you’ve had a productive week and that you are making good progress with any lifestyle changes or goals you may have been working on. If not, fear not.  There’s a little book called REFRAME WEIGHTLOSS coming out soon, that might just help !

Perhaps a little rekindling of your motivation is just what you need and indeed that is exactly what I aim to provide in REFRAME WEIGHTLOSS.  The book has recently been given a few extra inclusions and I’m pleased to say I am now also making good progress with the technical side of it all (producing an ebooks requires a little bit of techie knowledge, so it has been a steep learning curve for me, a non-techie).

Some Personal Development

Anyhow, apart from further developing my own manuscript this past week, I have also been spending a little time reading and studying some very absorbing personal development books. I looove all those books. I particularly enjoy the way my thinking enlarges and changes when I study them. Sometimes I just can’t get my nose out of them!

So today I thought I’d briefly share some of the messages in a book called The 8th Habit, by Stephen Covey, an enthralling read and one I highly recommend to you, if you can get your hands on a copy. I readily admit to only reading certain sections of it, as it really is a book to be studied, rather than just read, but even those few sections were moving and motivating for me. The human model he describes is valid for all of us and yes, it can also be applied to the challenges we face with weight loss.

The Book Review

Basically, Covey talks about our unwrapped ‘birth gifts’ (the notion of having been given certain ‘gifts’ at birth was, I thought, very beautifully described and conveyed). He mentions these as being our four ‘capacities’ or ‘intelligences’ – those in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual arenas and he then goes on to describe the significance of each.

Somehow just by reading, I become well aware of some of my own ‘birth gifts’ and to the extent that I have been using or not using them, till now. It was exciting stuff!  It appears however, that I have been wasting a fair few of them!

Covey also talks of the great leaders of the world – Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela and several others (personally, I think he should include himself in the list ) and as we read, we begin to realise that these are people who certainly did unwrap and use their birth gifts.

He talks also of ‘finding your voice’ in the world (through finding your own purpose and following down the path of what excites and inspires you) and then by inspiring others to find theirs. This he suggests is how we can all discover ‘ our real reason for being here.’

Our Untapped Potential

Covey’s book is an inspiring and captivating read. A much fuller description of his teaching is beyond the scope of this particular post, however, I do hope I have conveyed to you some of the underlying tenets of his message.

Basically it is this – each one of us has a huge well of untapped and unused potential, given to us at birth. How we utilize and expand that potential is up to us. We can squander what we have been given or we can take a leap of faith and use and develop every bit of every talent, skill, drive or creative desire, we have.  It’s up to us.

Reach For The Stars

At the moment, in my life, I am aiming to take the second option. What about you? Would you like to jump on board with me, to try something new, do something different too? There’s a little axiom that comes to mind here as I write, which says ‘Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars’.  I like that one – it reminds me to always aim higher than I might be otherwise be tempted to. To get out of my comfort zone. To embrace change instead of fearing it.  To have faith that I will reach my goals, however lofty they may seem.

As you can see, Stephen Covey’s book has had a big impact on me! And if you have the time, I do recommend you have a look at it too. It’s not a light read and perhaps some of you may question whether it’s message is applicable to your own personal situation or not.  Whatever your initial thoughts, bear in mind that this is a book that has affected millions of lives all over the planet.  I can’t believe that it has taken me this long to get a copy myself !

So, do you think it’s time for you to unwrap your birth gifts?   I’d love to hear if it is.  Please feel free to share any other ideas or thoughts you may have about this topic or perhaps about your own particular gifts or talents. I would love to hear about them.

Thanks for reading today dear friends. You are very welcome to visit here anytime and thanks for being a part of our humble community. It’s really good to have you on board!

Till next time….take care,





Losing Weight and Changing Habits – A Kickstart to Better Weight Loss Behaviour

Good morning, afternoon or evening….whatever it is in your world, I hope it is a good one!  A BIG welcome to my new readers. It’s great to have you hear and I hope you’ll visit often!

Please make yourselves comfy, grab a coffee or tea and take a look around my blog when you get the chance.  Also I would like to say a special thanks to Annabel Candy of www.getinthehotspot.com who so generously shared this site with her own readers. Thank you, Annabel ! 

So, What’s Eating You?

Today I thought I’d take a brief look at healing our emotional pains and aches – the ones that often lead us to seek the (relative and short term) comfort of food.  A bag of chips, a packet of biscuits (brownies or cookies) and a soft lounge chair are often the solace of the emotional eater who has not yet learnt a better way.

This type of eating is also sometimes referred to as incidental or mindless eating.  Basically it is the type of eating we do without thinking.  At all.  Instead, we react (to our emotional triggers) not respond and often fall back on a habit we have perhaps possessed for a very long time. Perhaps it even started as a child.  Well, we are all grown ups now and maybe it’s time to learn a few new ways of responding to the conditions of our lives.

Negative or Positive Energy, Which Do You Want?

I am reminded of the saying here “to change what we can, accept what we can’t and to find the wisdom to know the difference”.  It’s a simple statement, but a powerful one. So much of our emotional energy is wasted in negative reactions such as resentment, worry, fear and anger.  Just hearing those words temporarily drains my own energy.  Who really likes to be around someone when they are angry, ranting or otherwise sharing their negative feelings with those around them? 

Unless we are talking about small children here or someone with a genuine need to be heard, I for one, steer clear of such people and situations as much as possible.  Don’t get me wrong, I have much time for listening and counselling anyone who has a real need. 

Listening to someone in a loving way in order to help them move forward with a problem is completely different to letting yourself become a sounding board or doormat for the generally grumpy, rude, disrespectful or angry people who sometimes inhabit our personal space. I’m sure you know what I mean!

Goodbye Negative Thoughts

My point here is twofold. First up, one way not to get caught up in someone else’s negativity is to take back your own personal power. You don’t have to stand there and listen and let your otherwise happy and carefree day be ruined.  You can take a stand, tell them you don’t share their demeanour today and move on.  It’s a sure-fire way to make them stop.

Secondly, what of your own negative thoughts? You can take a similar approach with them! You don’t have to listen in to those negative, automatic thoughts that arise.  A friend of mine has recently taken a new approach to her own negative thoughts and now replies to them with “clear, delete, erase” each time she recognises the presence of one of these unhelpful thoughts.  She has, in essence begun a ‘reprogramming’ approach to her internal dialogue.

This is a subject which I talk about in greater depth in my book, REFRAME WEIGHTLOSS.  In fact I recently decided to add a whole new section devoted primarily to this topic as I believe it to be so important.

Although it is probably beyond the scope of this one post to elaborate fully, I will try and emphasize before I close two key tools for handling and balancing emotional issues.

Forgiveness and Gratitude

One is the choice you can make (if you choose) to forgive. It can be a huge release when we are sincerely able to forgive another for any hurts they may have caused. This doesn’t have to mean an acknowledgement that you approve of what they did, but rather just an intention on your part to forgive them, anyway.  The person this benefits the most is YOU, not them.

Secondly, try to keep yourself focused on the things you have to be thankful for in life. Earlier today I was sent a video from an acquaintance who has been doing charity work in Africa. Her video bought tears to my eyes and caused me to reflect on all that we here in the west, have to be grateful for.  So try being thankful – it may just change your perspective a little.

Before closing I also just want to say thanks for reading today.  I do appreciate you dropping by and hope you will remain part of the team here at Reframe Weightloss. 

Together everyone achieves more!

Wishing you well……



PS Please feel free to comment or join in the discussion. Just click comment below to share your thoughts. I would love to hear them.

Weight Loss and Positive Change – Losing Weight By Losing The Negative Mindset

Avoiding Weight Loss

Most of us avoid change.  It’s kind of part of the whole “being human” thing.  Instead of doing things differently, we seek familarity. Instead of discovering new ways, we fall back on old ways. Instead of a little bit of pain and discomfort, we seek the comfort and safety of sameness. 

If we are in a good place and life is just as we want it to be then that is great.  No need to change what is already working.  If that is YOU, then there’s possibly no need to read any further !  I’m glad you dropped by, though !

If however, you are like the multitudes of people that do desire real change but are a little afraid or unsure if you should ‘go for it’, then perhaps the rest of this post may help.

First of all let’s take a look at the things we all often do instead of taking the steps to improve/change our situation, that is some of the common ways of wasting our emotional energy.

Despite it’s futility we all sometimes blame things or people (our jobs, our past, our parents, our friends and even our families) for the things that we want to change, but never get around to.  I used to do it all the time. Had a Masters Degree in Blaming Others and often put it to use. Eventually though I saw the futility of using my emotional energy this way.  Slowly I began to take personal responsibility for the things I wanted to change.

Where To Start

Althought medical authorities, dieticians and nutritionists will all emphasize dietary and lifestyle change as the place to start, I always find it more effective to first take a look at the state of  our minds and hearts, as this is the place where real change originates from. 

Creating negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself can slowly diminish that very important part of all of human beings, our self worth.  At this point, changing diets or lifestyle becomes extremely difficult to implement.

Many well known weight loss programs do not address this crucial part of achieving weight loss. 

So to get yourself started on the road to greater physical and emotional health, why not take some time to review the following ideas for implementing positve change to your world.

Powerful and Positive Messages

Affirmations are a great way to change a negative mindset. Some methods posited include standing in front of a mirror and addressing your subconscious with powerful, positive messages.  It may seem strange at first and it is really not neccessary to do it in front of a mirror, if that makes you uncomfortable.

Repeated affirmations like “I feel good today” or instead of “I ate a whole block of chocolate today, what a hope have I got for change”, try “I may have overeaten today, but I am still a worthy, lovable and creative person” or “I am working toward change and I congratulate myself for my new awareness.  I am on the path to positive change.”

Why not try this new practice for yourself ?

Taking Control of Your Thoughts – A New Approach

This type of thinking is sometimes rejected by people who have come to believe that taking control of your internal voice is all mumbo jumbo. Many of us (most) were never taught “how to think” in our formal eduction and schooling (where many beliefs are formed) but, society is changing.

Many schools and mainstream educators are now starting to realise the value of learning to think more positively and are extending that awareness in formal education programs. I know a lot of us missed out on having these valuable insights passed down to us, but it’s not too late to try it now!

Why not have an open mind and give it a go? Let me know what happens!

I will leave you with these few further thoughts for your reflection. I think they are kind of relevant to what we are exploring here.

What you think, you create.

What you feel you attract.

What you imagine, you become.

Ciao friends.  Have an awesome day!