Musings on Seeking (and Finding) More Peace and Happiness in The New Year

 

“You are only one thought away from a good feeling.”

Happiness! It’s something we all want but struggle to find.  We could be happy we tell ourselves, if only we had fewer thoughts to analyse, fewer reactions to tame and no bad habits to change. Basically we’d all like to be more in charge of our lives. Maybe then we could be truly happy.

But perhaps all of the above just kind of ‘goes with the territory’ of living? Maybe we’d better just get used to it, ‘cos perhaps it is an inevitable part of the whole ‘being human’ thing ?

A few years ago I had to ponder those questions myself and if I wanted to stay on track with my weight loss efforts, I had to get some answers. What I found was that staying healthy psychologically was a real boon to staying healthy physically. We are, after all, not one-dimensional, but multidimensional beings, with many parts to heal, restore and transform.

So today’s post is about a few of the ideas that I’ve discovered and found to be effective (for me) . I hope they are for you too.

You Can Be Happy

I’m talking here mainly about a few principles I have learnt and now practice myself and that basically all come from a little book called, YOU CAN BE HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. Great title, huh?

The principles are simple, but once you start to practice them, they can be quite powerful. Okay so here they are briefly described.

1) Stop taking every thought seriously. I think the average human mind produces about 60,000 thoughts a day, so not every one of those thoughts is something you need to take notice of, particularly if the thoughts are negative. Instead you can simply acknowledge them, choice to regard them as temporary and move on. In other words, don’t get caught up in analysis paralysis.

2) Feelings are like thoughts. They will arise, sometimes out of nowhere it seems, but they will pass, if we allow them to, simply by giving them less of our attention. Giving  your mind’s full attention to your thoughts by ruminating over things, hanging on to regrets or ‘if only’s’, is only going to make you more frightened by your own thoughts and….lead to more bad feelings. Sometimes we just have to let things go.

The book also suggests that we view our feelings as our built-in warning system, a system that alerts you via your uneasy feelings that you are heading down the wrong track with your thinking and may need to make a slight mental adjustment or at least, to give your negative thoughts less of your attention and focus.

Stress Reduction

All sound a little hard? Then perhaps you need to become less tolerant of the stress you are under. By that I mean stop being so hard on yourself and take a break. Book a massage. A tank float. A pedicure. Whatever it is that will relax and revive you – and distract you from those continuous and annoying thoughts.

Another great tip suggested in the book is to remind yourself that your thoughts are harmless – they are just thoughts. Stop focussing on them, on each and every detail of them and you will be on the road to better psychological health and fewer destructive habits. The opposite behaviour – thinking about something all the time, which I used to do, only makes a problem grow in our minds and make it appear more formidable.

As we will all be wishing each other a Happy New Year soon, what exactly does that mean for you?

What will it take for you to be truly happy in the New Year?
I would love to hear about your own experiences with seeking happiness. Is feeling peaceful an intermittent thing for you – something that comes and goes? If so, what do you do to restore your inner calm?

We all deserve more happiness in our lives. Writing this blog makes me happy. So do my kids. So do my friends and family. And so does pursuing my goals.

What about you? What makes you happy?

 

You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But You Can Still Be Happy (A Post Christmas How To Guide)

 With the knowledge (er…suspicion)  that the Christmas holiday weekend perhaps went a little smoother for some, than for others, I thought today, the following reflection may be apt. 

It is a little personal (though not too much ) and I hope, if you need it to be, may also be a little therapeutic…..

Some Preamble

I actually tried ignoring (as much as possible) the pre-Christmas hype (shopping/consumer madness, etc…) but try as I may, it still affected me.  So that being considered, there was a few things I needed to get straight; a few ‘truths’ I needed to remind myself and lessons I needed to (re) learn.

I could sum them up in a few phrases – slow down, don’t sweat the small stuff and live every moment, as if it could be your last.

Oh and here’s one more:- acceptance and love don’t always come gift wrapped.

So here’s how I came to these conclusions……

Want Versus Need

Remember this line from the Rolling Stones hit song, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need……” It’s true and he’s a few personal examples of just that…

The ‘need’ follows the ‘want’ and is written in bold.

1.” For the holidays, I thought I might try something different,” I told my hairdresser.  ‘ I think I’d like my hair to be lighter’ I continued. 

After some consternation over this request, she shared her plan to make me ‘a shade lighter’. It didn’t work. One and half hours later, I left a deep brunette.

Not what I wanted.

Upon returning home, my kids and family complimented me, gave me some love and actually told me they liked my hair and that I looked nice. They offered their kind words, were just glad to see me and I felt good.

2. ‘Don’t interrupt me on the phone, okay? I really need to talk to this person. It’s important,’ I told the kids. Within seconds, I had to excuse myself to answer my kids questions and attend to their activities. Four times, in fact, I excused myself from the phone.

The person I was speaking to, finally said ‘I think I’d better let you go’ and hung up.

Not what I wanted.

After the call, I looked at the kids. They ran to me and hugged me, as if I had been gone for days (instead of a few minutes) and I decided to give them my full attention, suddenly feeling a rush of appreciation for them, for their enthusiasm and their ability to feel excited over the little things in life.

3. Over Christmas, I did receive a few things I simply didn’t want.

These things however were given to me by people whom I really love and it was a gift simply to know that they felt the same. Finding out that they also treasure our friendship as much as I do was something I needed know. It made me happy regardless of the unwanted item.

Therapy for Life

Perhaps, if you’re tempted to moan or groan about anything unwanted in your life, a little tweaking of your mental processes might help and perhaps you can also find, that you actually did get what you need.

A Final Thought

In my humble opinion, our needs are often already being met, but that fact becomes a little clouded by our own preference for getting what we want.

Futhermore, experiencing the joy that fulfillment of our needs brings does require a little less superficiality.

This is just what I think though and maybe…. I’ve got it all wrong? Maybe there’s something else I need to learn…..

What do you think?

I’d love to hear if you yourself have a personal philosophy to live by when things don’t go your way? Does it help to make you appreciate the small things?

Or why not just share your Christmas experiences this year? I myself have enjoyed a very happy and upbeat celebration; one of the best I’ve had in years. I loved it!!

Please feel free to share anything that didn’t go your way though. I’m here and I’m listening…..:) 🙂

Or maybe you have some other nuggets of wisdom to share? Just press comment and fire away….

PS Don’t forget to pop back again in a few days. I am working on a sequel to todays post. It’ll be a similar ”Art of Happiness” study, which you may find interesting………   🙂

 

How Staying Zen Might Help Your Family This Christmas or How To Find Calm in The Festive Chaos

 

A Story

So I’ve just been daydreaming about lying in a corn field somewhere (oops..better make that sugar cane or bananas …I come from Australia…which could be uncomfortable, now that I think about it…lying there amongst the fruit trees…..darn, daydream) . Anyhow, whilst I can’t actually see myself taking the action to get me to these places,  the mental imagery is helping.

The Feeling

What I’m really after is a feeling. You know that rush of expansion and abundance you get when you sit amidst an open space staring up into the sky or out into the ocean? That’s what I’m looking for. Somewhere peaceful. Calm. Quiet. And still.  With a light breeze soothing my senses.

And the reason I’m escaping into this daydream? Well  it’s simple really. The holidays are here and it’s December – duh, duh, doh!!  Normally I looove this time of year and very soon, I know I will have that feeling again, but at present I am going through a slight ‘adjustment phase’.

It’s December ?

I must say I have been about as prepared for the holidays as someone who has been watching the weather channel for days, perhaps observing the movement of a cyclone (or hurricane) and then calmly changing channels, feeling secure and safe that this event will hit someone else’s town or city.

And then at the very last-minute, when I realise the event is about to hit, after all, I find myself standing outside holding a small fragile looking pink umbrella and realising, as it is being ripped to sheds by 100 kilometre hour winds, that I really should’ve planned this better and at least bought a heavy-duty, all weather coat. Or something.

A Little Attitude Adjustment

So now I need a place to shed all the fraying edges of my pink umbrella so I can throw it away and finally realise that it was not shelter I needed after all, but rather something far more helpful and easily accessible. A peaceful attitude.

With Santa visits to be had, malls to shop in, movies to see, friends to call on and Christmas lights to be awed by I know that I have no reason to be anything other than extremely grateful.

And I am.

A Slight Delay Due To A Change In The Weather

I may not be getting the posts written that I had planned for this week (and I hope you can forgive this minor change to the my blogging ritual), but my time and energy is certainly being used wisely and happily. I have now surrendered to this busy time of year and am fully committed to living more fully in the moment and enjoying it all.

It just took a little tweaking of my thoughts to arrive here, but I now think I have fully embraced the concept of what ekamati108 (the author of www.belongingmatters.wordpress.com ) describes as ‘being here now’.

Before I Go..

Perhaps you too have disruptions to your own personal routine or schedule is a in December . If so, I hope you find your own field to relax in or at least a bench at the Mall, where you can sit and catch your breath, for a while. 🙂

Thanks also for staying with me this week. I’ll be back to my normal blogging program soon…..

Just FYI: I am actually working on a post series about e-book writing and self publishing so stay tuned if you’d like to explore this possibility for yourself!!

There are many authors out there who journeyed from blog to book . Maybe your blog is  already a book half written!!

If so, what comes next? There are loads of possiblities….hope you can pop back to find out what they are!!!

In the meantime, Happy and Peaceful blogging!!

So now over to you. Do you think it’s important for you to be the calm in the storm during the holidays? Is your own personal schedule or routine disrupted or changed unexpectedly come December 1st ? If so, how do you handle the change? 

Do you have a mental practice or technique for living more peacefully? If so, why not share it here? Christmas is, after all – a time for sharing and connection. And staying Zen.

Namaste,

Mon