Please make yourselves comfy, grab a coffee or tea and take a look around my blog when you get the chance. Also I would like to say a special thanks to Annabel Candy of www.getinthehotspot.com who so generously shared this site with her own readers. Thank you, Annabel !
So, What’s Eating You?
Today I thought I’d take a brief look at healing our emotional pains and aches – the ones that often lead us to seek the (relative and short term) comfort of food. A bag of chips, a packet of biscuits (brownies or cookies) and a soft lounge chair are often the solace of the emotional eater who has not yet learnt a better way.
This type of eating is also sometimes referred to as incidental or mindless eating. Basically it is the type of eating we do without thinking. At all. Instead, we react (to our emotional triggers) not respond and often fall back on a habit we have perhaps possessed for a very long time. Perhaps it even started as a child. Well, we are all grown ups now and maybe it’s time to learn a few new ways of responding to the conditions of our lives.
Negative or Positive Energy, Which Do You Want?
I am reminded of the saying here “to change what we can, accept what we can’t and to find the wisdom to know the difference”. It’s a simple statement, but a powerful one. So much of our emotional energy is wasted in negative reactions such as resentment, worry, fear and anger. Just hearing those words temporarily drains my own energy. Who really likes to be around someone when they are angry, ranting or otherwise sharing their negative feelings with those around them?
Unless we are talking about small children here or someone with a genuine need to be heard, I for one, steer clear of such people and situations as much as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I have much time for listening and counselling anyone who has a real need.
Listening to someone in a loving way in order to help them move forward with a problem is completely different to letting yourself become a sounding board or doormat for the generally grumpy, rude, disrespectful or angry people who sometimes inhabit our personal space. I’m sure you know what I mean!
Goodbye Negative Thoughts
My point here is twofold. First up, one way not to get caught up in someone else’s negativity is to take back your own personal power. You don’t have to stand there and listen and let your otherwise happy and carefree day be ruined. You can take a stand, tell them you don’t share their demeanour today and move on. It’s a sure-fire way to make them stop.
Secondly, what of your own negative thoughts? You can take a similar approach with them! You don’t have to listen in to those negative, automatic thoughts that arise. A friend of mine has recently taken a new approach to her own negative thoughts and now replies to them with “clear, delete, erase” each time she recognises the presence of one of these unhelpful thoughts. She has, in essence begun a ‘reprogramming’ approach to her internal dialogue.
This is a subject which I talk about in greater depth in my book, REFRAME WEIGHTLOSS. In fact I recently decided to add a whole new section devoted primarily to this topic as I believe it to be so important.
Although it is probably beyond the scope of this one post to elaborate fully, I will try and emphasize before I close two key tools for handling and balancing emotional issues.
Forgiveness and Gratitude
One is the choice you can make (if you choose) to forgive. It can be a huge release when we are sincerely able to forgive another for any hurts they may have caused. This doesn’t have to mean an acknowledgement that you approve of what they did, but rather just an intention on your part to forgive them, anyway. The person this benefits the most is YOU, not them.
Secondly, try to keep yourself focused on the things you have to be thankful for in life. Earlier today I was sent a video from an acquaintance who has been doing charity work in Africa. Her video bought tears to my eyes and caused me to reflect on all that we here in the west, have to be grateful for. So try being thankful – it may just change your perspective a little.
Before closing I also just want to say thanks for reading today. I do appreciate you dropping by and hope you will remain part of the team here at Reframe Weightloss.
Together everyone achieves more!
Wishing you well……
PS Please feel free to comment or join in the discussion. Just click comment below to share your thoughts. I would love to hear them.